Thursday, October 27, 2016


Here's a simple trick to remembering the difference between "stalactites" and "stalagmites."

The C in "stalactites" means that they descend from the ceiling, and the G in "stalagmites" means that they are straight-up gangsta.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Only for Geniuses Indeed

Learning English in Taiwan

When I first came to Taiwan*, the English language materials (textbooks, tests, etc.) used to teach junior and senior high school students were *catastrophically bad*. But there has been improvement in this area, and today those materials are only *very bad*. Hopefully within the next decade, I will pick up a high school English book, browse through it, and say happily to myself "Well this... is just *bad*."


Friday, October 14, 2016

ffs, Ireland

I know it's supposed to be a scary holiday and all, but Jesus.

Conan Plays NYC B-Ball & Chess - CONAN on TBS


Not only is this Brendan Holland guy freakishly tall, but he's also got big pancake-looking ears and a huge nose! He is the most ridiculous looking person I have ever.... um... 

Hey wait a minute...

Tuesday, October 11, 2016


My Twitter Feed the last couple of days reminds me of this one time when I was watching the Discovery Channel and there were a whole bunch of crocodiles in a pool and they all got overly excited and in the frenzy one croc ripped another croc's leg clean off and I was all like "whoa."

Thursday, October 06, 2016


When it comes to this clown thing, we here at Chewin in the Chung find ourselves conflicted. Even though our main hobbies do include pillaging, plundering, and too much rum, we're basically decent folk. And that means we hate clowns just as much as the next guy. But here's the problem: Ninjas hate clowns too. And from what we're hearing, various ninja clans have already stepped to deal with the recent spate of marauding clowns. Now we hate ninjas more than anything, and it has been said that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. But that's just not going to work here, so it's just going to have to be one more enemy.

There are rumors of Viking - clown violence coming in, and that's fine. Vikings are just pirates with axes.

Friday, September 30, 2016

So many jokes

so little time.

What we really need to know is the scientific word for  unicorn urination.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

37 Years Ago

September 29, 1979. This song made its debut on the UK Singles Chart  at number 24.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016


So we just had the two typhoons over the four day weekend. Wife and I took the opportunity to finally watch Game of Thrones (Season 1). We got through 8 episodes in 3 days. For those of you who watched it six years ago, at the end of episode 8 Lord Stark has been imprisoned and the war has just started.

As the show ended, my wife said: “You are just like him.”

“You mean The Mountain? I can see why you would say that. We both have incredible physical strength and we both strike fear into the hearts of mortal men. But he’s actually an inch taller than I am.”

*Wife rolls her eyes just like that time when I claimed I could beat Bas Rutten in a fair fight*

“Not the Mountain. Ned Stark. You are just like him.”

Not sure whether or not I should be offended, I asked “In what way am I like Ned Stark?

“You would get yourself thrown into the dungeon, and your family members imprisoned, while the whole kingdom goes to war, stubbornly refusing to budge on some obscure point of honor that nobody knows or really cares about.”

“I… I thought I am pretty practical about most things.”

“No, for things where you see a clear "Right" and "Wrong," you are obstinately righteous. Or maybe it’s righteously obstinate. English adverbs don’t always make sense to me.”

“I… hmm. You may be right.”

“There is no ‘may’ about it. The world is just lucky you never found religion.”

Jim Wright: Greatness, Again

I really, really wish I could write as well as this guy.

Friday, September 02, 2016

The Kid

Reasons why 11 year-old me would be disappointed in middle-aged me:

My house has no fireplace
My house has no spiral staircase
I do not own a motorcycle with a sidecar
No Hot Wheels tracks anywhere
Don’t have one of these that takes up an entire room

Never been to the Bermuda Triangle
Not a black belt in karate

Don’t own one or ten of these

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

In the news - Trump chosen by God?

Michelle Bachmann says Trump chosen by God.

I looked it up in the bible, and there is some support for what Bachmann is asserting. Key passage is Exodus 8:14.

This is what the great LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with Trump. The airwaves will teem with Trump. He will come up into your apartment and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the local office of the DMV and on your people, and into your Facebook and Twitter. Trump will get all up in your face and make all your memes less dank.