Thursday, April 27, 2017

Inspired by stupid Facebook thing going around

Which of the following belief systems have I not dabbled in?

1) Papal Deconstructional Ethics
2) Randian Objectivism
3) Krishna Consciousness
4) Tea Tree Oil Essentialism
5) Marxist Kantianism
6) Pheremonology
7) Positivistic Surrealism
8) Scientology
9) More Human than Humanism
10) One tiny atom in my fingernail could be one little tiny universe-ism


Me, in store: "Whoah, check it out! Weetabix! I haven't seen these in like, forever! I used to love these as a kid!" 

Me, at home, eating Weetabix: "Wait a minute. I didn't love these as a kid. I absolutely hated them. Goddammit."

They Found Out

Friday, April 14, 2017

Mary Edwards Walker is unimpressed with your elected leaders.

Friday, March 31, 2017


They have come up with a banana to go. 

I'm glad I can now buy this special banana and eat it on the go. It has always been a hassle to have to sit down at the dining table with the serviette and the peel skewer and the special banana knife. 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Twitter has Mute Function!

Now you can easily filter out words and phrases that you are goddamn sick and tired of.

Human: "Computer, you have now analyzed over 10,000 recipes of things humans like to eat. Based on this knowledge, I want you to create something new that you think humans will enjoy."

Computer: *thinks for a few seconds* "Chocolate cake chocolate cake!"

Human: Not bad, computer. Not bad at all.

Thursday, March 23, 2017


Stanley Black & Decker Acquires Craftsman Brand from Sears

From Wikipedia:
"(Sears CEO) Lampert is an avid follower of Ayn Rand and has used elements of Rand's philosophy to guide his biz decisions."

Let's see how that's worked out for him:

About as well as Objectivism works when applied to anything else, apparently.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Regional Dialiects

There is a large variance in the names for things across different parts of the United States. For example, in southern states you might hear people call this device:

a "turn signal," but likely as not we would just call it the "blinker." However, in states like New York and Massachusetts,  there is no English word for this device, because the people there do not know what it is or how to use it.

My Life

This video pretty much sums it up: